A Cigar Brings Out the Caveman in You

A cigar brings out the caveman in you ⦾ There’s a man-size feeling of power in smoking a cigar ⦾ You’re a formidable figure with a cigar in your mouth ⦾ You’re a leader, a seducer, and a man of mystery ⦾ You’re a caveman, and you’re proud of it, even though there are no teeth in your mouth ⦾ You see women as the weaker and less intelligent sex ⋯ not to be trusted with a gun ⋯ not capable of self-support, like a caveman ⦾ A woman is only useful for procreation, and after that, she’s a nuisance ⋯ property, and you have the right to do anything you want to her ⦾ You see women as objects, and you can take them with you when you leave ⋯ a problem, and you’re going to solve it ⋯ you’re going to solve it with violence ⦿

The primal way that you hold a cigar is what makes it so beautiful ⦾ There’s something primitive about the way that you hold a cigar in a way that you can’t hold a woman in this world ⦾ Like a woman, she can be anything that she wants to be ⦾ If she wants to be a little tin god, then she can be one ⋯ if she wants to be an old man she can be one ⦾ And if she wants to become a smoke ring, then she can be one ⦾ You look at a woman and you see her as an object and not as an entity with feelings ⦾ A cigar is different ⋯ a cigar is not about what you want it to be about ⋯ it’s about what you are ⦾ Smoking a cigar is like having one’s own personal dick ⦾ It’s the same with a motorcycle ⦿

While smoking a cigar, I feel like I am a wild animal that must be controlled ⦾ The burning tip of the cigar is like a fire in my gut ⦾ The smoke tastes like a combination of burning wood and meat ⦾ The smoke rises from my mouth to my mind, and it becomes a story, and my cigar is a writing implement ⦾ There’s no better way to tell a story than with a cigar ⋯ the smoke is a muse ⦿

You walk into a room and it’s like you’re entering a cave ⦾ The air is dense, humid and musty ⦾ The cigar’s smoke smells like sweat and the earth ⦾ The scarlet tip glimmers in the candlelight like fire ⦾ Smoking a cigar is a way of showing you’re better than the rest of the cavemen ⦾ It’s a way of saying, I’m so superior that I can smoke a cigar. ⦾ Smoking a cigar says, I’m so superior that I can put a cedar in my mouth and let it burn. ⦾ You inhale and exhale, you put the fire to your lips and set the glowing end between your fingers ⦾ The smoke is a cloud, you blow it out ⦾ A moon will be floating in the sky in another month ⋯ you wonder why that’s not sooner ⋯ the moon is so beautiful up in the night sky ⦾ The whole world seems to be waiting to see it again ⦾ It’s a magnet for your attention ⋯ it is a gift of nature ⦿

You can tell the difference between the sacred and the secular ⦾ The sacred is the cigar ⦾ There’s no other way to feel right in your body ⦾ Cigars are the roadmap to nature ⋯ the way out of your skin ⦾ It is chemical and biological ⋯ it is a science and a religion ⋯ it is a death wish ⦾ It’s a reminder that you are more than this body ⋯ it’s a reminder that you are a machine ⋯ the most fulfilling piece of machinery in the universe ⦾ You let out a puff and the world is different ⋯ your neck cracks, and your eyes flutter open ⦾ The smoke makes you feel like you’re about to die, then you let out another puff, and you’re alive ⦾ You can feel the smoke in your body, your blood, your bones, your mind ⦾ You emerge from the cave and look at your creation ⦾ You are in a maze of mirrors ⦿

Smoking a cigar is like eating a hot dog ⦾ A cigar is like a sledgehammer ⋯ like a big red button that says Do not push. ⦾ It’s like having a small dog with you ⋯ it will follow you around, even in public ⦾ It will wag its tail ⋯ it will piddle on the floor ⋯ it will constantly bark and beg for more ⦿

The burley taste of a cigar ⋯ the chew-down of a cigar ⦾ You can feel you’ve got the world by the balls with a cigar in your hand ⦾ It's only a little thing, but it's a thing that says I'm here. ⦿